The Big Five-O

It's that time of the year when you reflect and write about life

Jun 6, 2023

First, let me just say that the photo you’re looking at was generated by A.I. I just told it to generate an image of a middle-aged guy reflecting on life at 50. The other results were bad. Let’s continue.

UPDATED AND EDITED: My colleague and friend reminded me to craft this yearly ritual of writing down my reflections on life. This is triggered by my upcoming birthday. So here I go.

At this age, the younger ones are respectful of your age, stature, and uhm, wisdom. In my daily experience, they would call me “Tito,” a Filipino term that means the older man (to be precise, uncle, as my wife pointed out). Some would end their sentences with “po,” another Filipino team that means respect. But “po” is now meant for older people. I’m not whining. I’m used to it by now. It’s amusing. But with age comes wisdom. So I let these words slide. I forgive you.

5.0 Lessons

This year represents my golden year. I’m supposed to give you 5 amazing lessons in life. But before I proceed, let me just say this: If you still have your health at this age, be thankful. Years of breathing the polluted air, dealing with the stressful hustle and bustle, and the pandemic – all of these are going to take a toll on you. I’m lucky to have survived the world’s deadly virus, which killed millions in the last 3 years. It still is. This pandemic has changed us. So, I’m thankful that my family and I were healthy enough to withstand COVID-19. (I did get COVID-19 last year, but that’s another story).

Lesson # 1. Be thankful for life. I can’t express enough gratitude for the life that God gives every day. It is a blessing. But it goes by way fast. And most of it is spent at work, even when we were all still stuck in our homes. I’m happy that I reached this point and still am able to labor to provide for the family. I work because I need to provide. It’s not about getting rich, getting promoted, or even being successful (well, this bit is a bonus ). If I were to answer the question, what keeps me from waking up every day and looking forward to life? You now know my answer.

Lesson # 2. Savor every moment. Find time to reflect on your day, every day. I’m guilty of forgetting to stop and smell the flowers. I find myself doom-scrolling instead of conversing with family or friends. I choose instant gratification over delayed one. I failed the marshmallow test because I’m impatient. I find myself not listening well to what people are saying. I miss moments and words, too. I’m bad with names. I swim forward with the rest. I stay on the fast lane more often than taking my sweet time by the sidewalk. I skip walking. Instead, I drive, too lazy to break a sweat even if my destination is just a block away. Find time to enjoy those moments. They won’t happen again. Remember what people are saying. Remember their words, their meaning. Keep that smartphone in your pocket. Resist the temptation of taking a photo for the gram. Enjoy life.

Lesson #3. Keep learning. Don’t stop reading. And if you can, write. I write every day. That’s my job. I copywrite. I edit articles. I revise a chapter of a book. I correct the grammar of my students who are discovering ways to express themselves. I teach on weekends to force myself to keep learning. I challenge myself to think of another class exercise. No chatGPT here. Students today are too distracted. (No, they don’t have shorter attention spans). You have to keep them engaged, interested, and challenged. So, I read more stuff than I could, and digest it for them. I force myself to read a book chapter every night. I plan to finish 20 books this year. I’m on my 7th this June, and soon finishing two more. Eleven to go. I listen to audiobooks when I drive home. I listen to classic literature, non-fiction, how-tos, and recently, a number of audiobooks on leadership, culture, and psychology. I picked some funny ones, too. One audiobook focused on The Voice (why we’re being judged by our accents and voice!) One dived into jokes that comedians can’t say for fear of being #cancelled. It’s a cliche. I believe in lifelong learning. There’s so much to learn. But as another book reminded me, you need to start doing things, taking action.

Lesson #4. Take action. Give time to things that matter. Cancel the noise. There’s so much noise in our lives today. Thanks to binge-watching, streaming content, and a parade of bad and, uhm, fake news (politics and entertainment included), we get distracted a lot of times. This year, I canceled 90% of my streaming services. I left just one service, and it’s the one that is connected to my television. (It’s not cable TV). I try to avoid getting sucked into Tiktok videos and Reels of people craving your attention. We barely have enough time to take breaks and do personal errands. We cram a lot of them on weekends, leaving us exhausted come Monday. So before you do anything, stop. Take a pause and ask yourself, “Will this thing matter to me now and the day after today?” If the answer is yes, then do it! Don’t delay. Don’t procrastinate.

Lesson #5. Keep life simple. Get back to the basics. And yes, exercise. Marie Kondo taught us an important lesson: if things do not spark joy, get rid of them. I haven’t done this but I intend to start doing it soon (including a stack of guitar magazines and old cassette tapes I kept). I need to keep life simple. And this extends to what I store in my grey matter. Throw away junk information. Study stuff that will lead to action and results. This means being practical and organized. How much of your day is getting complicated and complex? Go back to basics. Break down problems into smaller problems. And move quickly. Of course, moving means inserting time for exercise. We’re not young anymore. We need to break a sweat for a few minutes of the day. Finally, don’t forget to pray.

So that’s it. These are 5.0 lessons that I hope to share on my big (Hawaii) Five-O. I hope you find them useful. They sound easy. But they’re not. I still struggle to re-learn them after all these years!

Author’s note: Whenever I re-read what I wrote, I’m tempted to edit it again. Language and writing are such wonderful but challenging things. I remember one of my editors saying, “Write in white heat, edit in cold blood.” Forgive me sir, I need to keep editing my work because as a colleague reminded me lately, “There is no such thing as FINAL.”